Getting Out of My Own Way

agrimony flower remedy for feelingEpiphanies while getting out of my own way

Getting out of my own way is freeing. I treasure epiphanies when they arise. They are usually the result of movement within my self-healing process. I gain insight when I pause and reflect with my Soul. My process has recently been bumped up to another level.

Bach Flower Remedy Practitioner training

Recently, I completed all three levels of the Bach Flower Remedy Practitioner training. My first epiphany came within the 1st 2 hrs of the level 1, 12-hour course. The Bach flower remedy courses focus on learning about the 38 remedies, how to choose your remedy and how to do a Bach consultation for others.

It’s all about the feelings

These flower remedies focus on your feelings, your mental and emotional state. It is believed that if we are going to move out of balance, on any level, it usually begins in those realms. For example, with the help of these remedies, I have been able to let go of worries about my family.

Aha moments

There have been numerous aha moments throughout the past five months of study in these 3 levels. However, the biggest aha moment landed on the last day of the level 3 training. In our final exercise together, we took turns doing a mini session on one another. This proved to be quite an educational exercise for each of us.

Deeper levels revealed

When it was my turn, the information I was sharing led to a much deeper level within me. As a result, the practitioner at the time, was able to think of a remedy that would benefit me, one that I had never considered before. Without going into the details, the suggested remedy was Agrimony. I knew this remedy to be useful for people who always try to put on a good face. Even though they have much internal suffering going on, they never reveal it to others.

The Agrimony state

My Agrimony state was revealed after two different events coincided in my life the day before the last class. The interesting thing that stood out though, was that for the past five months, I have been learning to take the appropriate remedy for whatever I’m feeling. But, for some unknown reason, I had failed to do that. I was unable to offer myself the perfect remedy for what I was feeling. Instead, I felt overwhelmed and went to bed.

We do the best we can

Some might say that I was taking care of myself the best way that I could. And on some level that was true. Gratefully, the universe had other plans. I was given the opportunity to share about this experience in the presence of my fellow students and to receive their brilliant insights.

When we feel heard, we shift

Upon hearing the suggestion for Agrimony, knowing what it represented, things started to shift within me. I immediately made the connection between the news of the unexpected loss from the day before and the losses of my siblings in my childhood.

The mystery of loss

As a child during the 1960s, I experienced the loss of four baby siblings over a period of 10 years. I’m not sure if anyone really knows how to deal with loss. I feel it is an ongoing course of learning that continues long after the loss. Navigating loss is a very personal experience. Now, we may know more about how to navigate this process than we did in the 1960s.

Does anyone really know…

For me personally, in the 1960s, no one was encouraging me to talk about my feelings or to help me through them. We were left to our own devices on this. I actually have no idea how my three surviving siblings coped with these losses. For me, it has been an ongoing process for the past 62 years. On some level, I always describe these 4 angels (that we lost) as the gift that keeps on giving.

Coping with overwhelm

What I do know, is that it felt too painful and overwhelming to think about each baby after they had passed. Therefore, I created a way to avoid thinking about them which helped me to cope with life. My coping mechanism was to sing two different songs in my head, over and over. One of the songs was called “You are my Sunshine.” Somehow repeatedly singing these songs in my head helped the time to pass. And it helped me get through my childhood.

Getting in my own way helped me survive

This coping mechanism is the absolute picture of what agrimony is about. Now, instead of avoiding what I am feeling and not revealing it, I find myself coming into acceptance. Unfortunately, having to cope with those early losses created a habit of me getting in my own way. Specifically, I learned how to get in the way of my feelings, so that I didn’t have to feel them. Realistically, getting in my own way was not limited to my feelings. It seemed to happen any time I felt overwhelmed. So, the pattern of getting in my own way was linked to any time I felt overwhelmed.

Shattering old ways

This realization is nothing short of earth shattering for me. I have noticed for decades how certain things will overwhelm me and then I would be unable to act. In most cases, I couldn’t figure out why certain things were overwhelming. I only knew that it prevented me from taking effective actions. It’s amazing how we survive with such limiting coping mechanisms.

Getting out of my own way

I look forward to meeting the new me; Susan: 67.0. Of course, there will be some relearning, growth, expansion and unknowns in my immediate future. Looking forward to continuing my self-healing journey.

Are you getting in your own way?

How might you be getting in your own way? How are you unknowingly limiting yourself? Are you ready to explore what might be in your way?

I am ready to guide you through this process with the Bach Flower Remedies.

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